Wholly Shit....

Back and packed and ready for accion!!!



Lots have happened in the last month. In Reversish order:

Yesterday I was talking about how I was due for a guide swim. I got it in less than an hour after that in the Fangs, where I swam the 2-fer-1 last year.

Its whitewater hiking season, officially.

Guide Stick Madness, I bought TWO of em, and can already feel my shoulder getting better after 4 days off of aluminum. Ladybugs!!


I just had the worst chocolate shake ever, didnt know that was possible?

Spent about 3 weeks in Colorado, charging the river and having a metric ton of fun. Some of it was with Zambi, who grew up a bit and turned into a really good dog and less of a feral menace to society. Cracking a nail in half really mellows a dog out too.

FIBArk was tight as well!

Within those 3 weeks spent some time in Utah of all places, dirtbiking with friends!

Became one of the infamous Angl-Junc Flyfishing Guides because Ive been fishing so much in the last 5 years....0 times. Funny enough, while I was there I was thonly one to catch anything using my super secret patened technique..."cussing". Im all over the site, poised as the Hairy Guy.

Interested in Western Washington University as a host for my grad school needs. Everyday I find out more interesting reasons to move there.... like Whistler's close range.

Beer Fines....

When river carnage happens theres a fine to be paid in frosty beverages. I love relatively safe carnage, and the cleanup, but thats bc its usually not mine. Last year I had one flip that was semi on purpose as a learning experience for the rookies. Had an amazing highside event. This year the water was wasting away and we were thinking it was going to be a short Box season. Then the agriculture guys shut off the irrigation to cut their crop and and the river spiked, and its spiking still. Going up. Thurs it was 780 cfs. Today its 1700. Sickness. Back from tangent, in Souse Hole, I flipped, first of the year, with an 8-year old, who was loving it!!

Mistaken Takenings....

A week up on the Arkansas....and I forgot my camera and toothbrush there. Though I got to chat with Eric Jackson and run some sick river madness.....

ugh

No Adventures without Chupacabras....

Im teaching a mini fast paced guide school. Smacking in four runs a day on the Racecourse. Exhausted. John takes this opportunity to gather friends and colleges and go run the Razorblades above the Upper Box. A nice class 3-4 run in the middle of nowhere. Its important to note the location bc I end up having to go to the middle of nowhere to try and find these guys.

5:30. Dairy Queen in hand, Spana. I get a a call for John that starts: "Emergency, everyone is ok...". The DQ almost comes out of nose. So I send all the students back in the other car and proceed to drive north in the Purple and then back home for the next 5.5 hours. Their shuttle van was high-centered in the mud, off the road, in a ditch, 5 miles back from the nearest pavement, and a guy named JR has the keys and is apparently going to tow it out the next day. I got to bed at about 1:00 am.

On the water they almost missed the takeout by 200 feet, sending them into the Upper Box class 5-6 gnar.

Love it, wet.

Soon: Giant Apology Letter from the BLM

Hands Down....

Something. Pics from the garage and beyond....

Add some lights: 2 of 4


Mount GPS:


Watch trees grow:

Made Me Cry....

Wavewheel to Meat....

I get a day off and guess what? I go kayaking. Looking for something to peel my eyelids back, I head into Souse Hole, Rio Grande!

Meanwhile Im having trips up on the Arkansas, overnighters, cracked heels, keg beer, a big black muscle monster of a dog, grad school schist, and Im a new member of the Gear Army for Outside Magazine! Where I get to recieve super sick and sometimes not awesome outdoor gear and use the crap out of it and then post my reflections. I like. Next in line is a Sweet Strutter helmet, maybe in pink, who knows?

one=three=five=four=cosmic....

The carnage is happening. The river is up. Koko's first college bikini rafters showed up. I havent stopped working for about 2 weeks. I dont even have a chance to down a beer before I fall asleep. I finally got my second shower in a week and a half. And then I twisted my ankle stepping out of the bus and faceplanted the neighboring bus, just previous to another guide tripping on said rock and almost ripping the bus door off.



Taos Box Style....fast, racing private boaters to the only two spots on the river to have lunch. Not getting run over by the bus traffic. Telling ridiculous stories and laughing. walking in the water to fart my drysuit only to have the zipper open and filling the legs with water. Heels calloused and deeply cracked....but I cant figure out why it doesnt hurt yet? Kayaking wavewheel to meat only to have your eyelids pulled back behind your ears from the force of the water.


Nap time.

....

Back by popular demand!!! New Posts!!!!

uh yeah, Im apparently busy now and stuff. How lame.

Heres a pic:

Gearboat PLUS paddlers PLUS 8-30 packs of Miller Lite. This thing was a pig. I may expand later, but not now. I did however talk the owner into buying me a stern frame, working well.
and here and here

good Kelly Carnage here

Four seasons on the Gauley from Jason Rackley on Vimeo.

River:30....

Its time. This time we did a nice little trip on the upper Chama river, aka, Big Mama Chama. Supposed to be a scenic class II with a burly class IV near the end, and a hike out. We failed to see the IV, but had a great time searching for it. We all agreed this would be one of the best easy overnighters with plenty of campsites and lee bank shelves, scenery and canyon action. The only class IV we found was right at the begining: river-wide barbed wire fence near the gravel pit.

Zomg!! x 2....

Craft Fail, Cake Wrecks....

All about flundered crafting. Hilarious. I should put up ALL of my attempts this year....

Craft Fail!

via: Neatorama

And then Cakewrecks....says it all...lol

Does this:

Look like this?:
I really like the 6 digits vs the 3....

Dakar, and Whoa!!!!!

This is a story from ADVrider...and it WILL blow your mind.
Read everything from "Bugfnnuts" and be prepared to watch the days trickle away, and the productivity diminish.

http://www.advrider.com/forums/showthread.php?t=209947

Top 9....

So far 2009 has sucked. I decided to alter my jaded opinion of the matter and see how funny these dumb happenings can be. You decide, or make your own additions:

9. Selling the 4Runner, some asshat offers me $750 (posted for $3600)

8. Upon modifying the kegerator for a stout with 40+ psi, I open the faucet for the first time, soaking my entire frontal crotch area.

7. I decide to sell the "Beaver", sad day

6. AutoCAD classes (2-4) get canceled due to lack of enrollment. Unfortunately no one can register for session 2 till we pass 1, which were still in when we get the news that its canceled. Pissed off.

5. Miss an appointment at CSU because the truck breaks a stabilizer bar and death wobbles all over the road upon meeting railroad tracks. Try and fix it, and fubar the steering on accident. Leave Nebraska 3 days late.

4. Find out I didnt get my dream job with the BLM because a retired asthmatic overweight vet whos never been on the river got the job with 10 preference point while I have a perfect resume and 0 points.

3. All six containers of milk I have bought since January have expired before I could use any of it.

2. My first day of rafting for the season: 40 degrees and snowing/raining, windy....

1. Apply for an extension to get my tax refund.

Origins....

Tauntaun Bag....

Dan hinted me on the this.... notice the zipper....WOW

Via: Thinkgeek

The Happening....

Taxes, ski movies, dirt bike movies, brewing beer, all kinds of GPS and GIS hacking, I still got this damned runny nose, landscaping, furniturescaping, tiling, and listening to music (MGMT, Pinback) really loud the whole time. Thats whats happening. As well, applying to grad school, prepping for the river season, and sucking down massive quantities of coffee, then falling asleep.

As you can see Ive developed a new technique for vertical tiling....posterboard. Hopefully it stays in place just long enough for me to move out....


And my birthday present, which I cant open til my official birthday, sad. I am now no longer the worlds only cartographer/mapper sans GPS. I have already documented and downloaded everything I need to hack the shit out of it, stoked!

NOT Warblegarble....

Via: dogs-looking-like-people

I Love Diapers....

via Neatorama

R.I.P.

Shane McConkey has moved on to the eternal ski movie....