Sandbox....

I just ran across the pics from that ride I went on. Happy disappointment. So as you can see in image one that the drive there was full of hills and scenery, so I knew the ride was going to be at least that good or better.

Well it turns out I was right. No hills. No view of the godforsaken lake and plenty of sand. I found a neat little rock bit and got excited and started peddling and missed it. Bc it was so small. I hit one of the rocks and jumped it and got like 3 feet of air.

But never underestimate the van. As I prepared for this ride I jammed out in the parking lot all alone, a select feature that would plague me this fall as I took a job in Texas unknowingly. Retarded. I am. I found that my mtb is breaking too. So thats Special, with a crack under the seatpost and blowing out rear shock. Tickle me purple.

As you may notice the trail on the map looks decent. I was unsure of my fitness to finish some of it before it got dark. To my amazement I did all the looops in about 45 min. In the horse chundered sand and goat head soup. The good hardpacked stuff was so in need that I flew over em to rejoin the sandy bits in dismay. Touche, I one-upped myself.

And goatheads beware, you have a tire perforating brethren. Sons o bitches. Or properly pronounced "bit'thes" when that wall of grafitti comes to mind. Go to School. Put the meth down.

One of the super cool I saw was a pitviper rattlesnake. I tried to get him to bite my tire but it was too cold for him the be pissed off. The other was the dual prop helicopter dropping the paratroopers out near me. I gawked in cottonmouth sun sweaty sandy britches. Twice.

But the ranger lady was good and I left with a palatte of unsurpassed confusion. My 5 bucks really went the distance. I mean everywhere else in the world this stuff is free. Arkansas or bust.

Rejected...

I talked to Garrett the other day, and he was all excited about the rejection letters we got for the horrible county GIS job that we no longer wanted. And from that I pass it on to you in a manner fit for niceties and sweets and all things furry:

An explaination...

So you have that big seismic buggy yeah. It weighs in at 60000 lbs. It has, as noted in correctly previously, 36 or 42 inch WIDE tires. The footprint of said tire having a ground pressure of no more than 16psi. My bike tire is pumped to 40, por ejemplo. Not that those two have anything related except that they both have wheels. That turn.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, the two engines burn diesel. One to move and one to vibrate the pad hanging in the middle. Put the pad down so the buggy is almost off the ground and rev that motor. if you look at the points on the map, linear ones are recievers and they stick in the gound surrounding he vibes and listen. sorta. Kinda. maybe. And this is how you get a 3D undergound geologic formation map. That you cant see or buy bc you dont have enough money. Thats about it.

As a tangent, I would like to play some ultimate like the good ol days back in the country village of Cairo.

This is what it looks like when someone messes up data points. Uh. Yep, thats about it.

Kinky....

A couple of things from the semihomefront. Dont even think for a minute that I waould call this place home....That said, work is hectic, shits going down out in the field as some surveyors were arrested for trespassing because of poor mapping. Not mine though. Whoosh. And who has the best campaign artist? Kinky Friedman, a comedian. Havent been to the gym yet, but the diet has been improved by less texan homestyle cookin and my body has rejoiced. 1/2 gallon of yogurt in the morning and wow. Or moo.

Escapism....

Luckily I didnt go postal, I went to Austin, and it is everything people say it is. And I just found a friend from Santa Fe here on the internet. I hope hes hope hes home. I always crash on that couch. Anywho....I have to attempt a ride in the mud aftermath of a 5in storm and had to come all the way to Austin some 3.5 hours to find out about trails 20min from Weatherturd.

Life be interesting, Im on the Hunt for Mr Bedrosian.

And theres SNL Jeopardy skits on Metacafe!!! I peed may pants this morning.

Suck it Trebek!

Porn.....

I get an allotted amount of time to sit around and dream. My gas costs are paid and I have nowhere to drive. But I still think on two wheels and so 12oz curls. So all I think about is dirty porn. The kind that takes four strokes at a time to burn the weasel. Leaving a trench or a slick and tossing my shoe off at the same time. Bending the butterbars. Keep it forward and aggressive. Just keep dreaming....

Thats the KTM I was talking about. Thats my inner thigh massage. The burning. I still cant believe theres nothing to do here in Weatherturd. I mean for the love of all that holy, this shouldnt even be a resident villa. More of a hole in the ground. A dry hole with an age gap ten years or more on either side of my own. It makes for interesting reading though.

Nothing but Net...

So being here with camera I figured should use it. I found another donut shop in another town with the same sign and now for all to see is the face of burden at work on a good day.

The Hunt for the Damn Donut...

So I went driving around. I was on a fullscale donutshop hunt. And I only found one. Wah? I swear there were like 12 last time I looked.

As well I took that photo and fixed the shadows and sun, but I guess not.

In an effort to become occupied I went and tried enrolling to a GYM. I was scared. I tried going to a gym in Cairo but couldnt really do it more than 5x. In fact I really just want to get in a super strong state of being so that I can kick ass on day one back on the slopes, quite unlike the pain and fatigue of skiing in Lebanon. Yup, that would be good. The trainer lady I talked to did say there was a biker community 7 miles east of here. Really? So Im fixing my ride to go and make a positve showing and kick some roadie ass with a mtb.

Just like my mom and I did, Im doing a serious CSI marathon everyother night. I can pack away about 3-4 of em. Though this last summer I got hooked on some medical show called House, and Im gonna go and buy the season, watch it and send it east, way east.

KTM 450 sx-f ....plan to ride soon. Jasons 8 cooling units....plan to quenched of thirst.

Guess Who....

We have a new menber to the Red Lodge Team, 10-4 Good Buddy!!

Sonya and Garrett have been gifted with a daughter of endless beauty, slobber and hair!!

The combination of two full headed kids becomes them. Awesome. I cant tell but she looks like a curious lass, like one of the all nighters perhaps. Interested in where to drool next....beware. Congrats!!!!!!!!!!1

The Sleeping Monster....

Holy schnikes,

I just slept from 6pm last night to 5am this morning. I guess that dairy queen stuff is heavy. Does anyone want to visit and trash a hotel room with me? Its all paid for. I have a mini fridge.

Ugh.

Weatherturd....

Theres really not much else I can say. Theres still no bars. I found a replacement for entertainment and it comes in the form of Chillis resturant. I thought it would be lame, but I was highly entertained by the Louisiana guy talking about getting drunk in Fort Worth and so on. And I expressly remember asking ot have my salad tossed, I mean, brought out before the meal, of "I didnt know steaks came that small?" So when she brought it afterwards and replied, "oh, I forgot" I chuckled deep inside with a thirst for a taller beer. I bet you didnt know that to drink here you have to fill out paperwork, and get a card, that allows you to do so. Ummm, yeah?


And soon I will document the spatial anomoly of donut shops in town.... Tons of em.

So there I was picking out the goat heads from my tire, still inflated, and there was this biggun. I was quite amazed that I hadnt gotten any flats yet as the tire was covered in em. The epoxy hole patch is still joined to the duct tape and all is good there, but then.... I saw a huge intact goat noggin and pulled only to hear ssssssssssssssshit. Now flat, no tools from Garretts garage, no bike shop in town or the county, or any other bikes for that matter. I was fuct. But this was after the look of shock as I passed the dually diesel death machine going 45mph. I dont think this guy had ever seen a person ACTUALLY pedal a bike before. How odd?

And then, I tried to look for a car adapter for my lappy to no avail. It needs a shoebox sixed power converter to plug into. OMG? But it doesnt mean that the realtime mapping isnt going to happen. Im excited and I left my boots at home. Oooops. In fact I dont know how these guys have ever mapped anything before me and ESRI came along? Its like theve never seen the real deal. I dont get it? I dont care. I have some cousins of anheuser busch here where the can says Texas on the label. Neat.

OK Then...

I just wrote the most amazing entry about my shitty day. And now its gone because I chose to restart the damn lappy.

Anywho this is work and hotel, two of the least interesting places in my life. And Im gonna buy that friggin KTM weatherford you like it or not.



And my neck back leg thing is better. Even the goldfish have expressed their enjoyment of the waffles.