Super Suck...

I like cars that are super too...

Golfin Paradiso...

There are a many things that are essentially wrong with greenscaping a desert environment. I dont even want to go there. But its wrong. Though, under the circumstances, it was already there when I got there, so I enjoyed drifting and skidding the cart around those perfectly manicured moguls. And I truely do suck at golf.

Mom and I hit a round of nine. Starting out with 20 balls and finishing with 12. I lost em all. I was on my forth ball at hole two. Though, a little later in the game I figured it out and was sending some super long and straight drives. Straight into the water hazard. But I kept most of em in the fairway and followed up with some sick approach shots and long putts. Four tall-boys kept my swing smooth and the laughter heckling.

We got passed on the first hole by a lady with two babies. Humiliating... or just funny. We finished up and headed to the 19th for a cure to poor golf. Asking the bartender if she had a good Bloody Mary, she responded it was great and whether we wanted it spicy or regular. Then came the immediate dissapointment as the two glasses of tomato juice and vodka were placed infront of us and a basket of salt and pepper, lemon juice and not-so-hot hot sauce. They almost had "warsher sauce", but didnt. So mixed it, stirred it, drank it, paid for it. I dont think the barkeep did anything?

But what a great day!

Taz-matic

Pez has a special place in our family. It makes me turn in my sleep.

I recieved this is the mail from the states, along with a special postcard that I cant explain.

A scheme is brewing...

Atkins Diet...

Apparently the diet has severe side effects from its lopsided meal regime. I just read this in the BBC News. Kidney failure and something like the opposite of diabetes, I think. Bad. But, to remedy this I suggest two chapers from a really good book: "Oh For Smart".

I suggest two things:

Chapter 1, and

Chaper 2...

Really easy yah!

And the Heavens made way forth thine coming...

I dont know what that means, I just made it up.

News: I have ADSL again, so Im rockin out over here. After hooking up the tunes I squeezed in to check my email and there it was; an old email with a photo from lake nasser during the christmas vacation. How sweet is this one. No really, I mean awesome is this dude! Sure hes a small fry, but after a diet of Nile perch the size of a golf bag Im sure he'll fill out a bit.

8 Bit Point of View...

So theres this funky little additional program that comes with the ArcGIS platform call ArcScene. Plug in the dem's elevation values with your image file and you suddenly have yourself a 3D semirealisitc portrayal of the earth's surface. Quite handy if you want to know what this mysterious place looks like that your driving to. Right now Im taking a look at parts of Lebanon and Canada and obviously all over Egypt. If you want a gander of somewheres, just let me know and I'll bust one out, ready by the year 2009 if you put your order in right now. And guess what...I have no pictures for this.

But what I do have is a photo of Sandia Labs in NM testing the destruction of packets of energy with electro magnetic fields. Notice the crazy electrical field coming off the metallic stairs....

...or maybe not? Maybe next time, but you can see it here along with an explanation.

The Shitty Nile...

This is a little or not so little but maybe bigger than what was originally intended today but a lot smaller than the whole story. Really.

So there’s this river called the Nile that runs down the center of the habitable areas in the desert landscape of North African Egypt. I have through the course of sitting on the porch drinking a bud come to the conclusion that it can and should be removed. A public service reminder that evolution is happening still: if you don’t use your appendix it will be removed for you or by you.

This so called life blood supporting the Nile valley is drastically underused. This is really noticeable when you go to places that have river systems and use them. Por Ejemplo: Amsterdam, Venice, Costa Rica, Iowa, and more… The only way people notice the importance and/or existence of the river is to stand on a bridge and look down. There are three kinds of boats in the Nile. One is the private half sinking fishing for nasty Nile perch fishing vessel. This one is propelled by rowing with railroad ties or pushing it through the mud. The second is the felucca which may have extremely loud music and kinda makes a donut pattern in a wide stretch of the river. Very annoying if you live within a four hundred kilometer distance of the river. The last one is a huge fat restaurant that was made to look like a boat and eventually was permanently docked in the mud after some low bridges prevented its escape or return to wherever these bulky bastards came from. They do have good food though. Occasionally you see a cargo hauler with nothing in it going somewhere and returning empty both times. Sometimes you just shouldn’t ask.

So what’s missing? First lets make a quick survey of the surrounding city if Cairo. The only potentially arable lands are near the river. They used to be fertile before the dam started collecting all the silt. This is happening with all dams. Eventually the farming is replaced with high-rise buildings and a paved lattice of the most fucked up streets and overpasses to ever be driven by the insane donkey whipper. This whole system is obviously aligned with the vector of the river, so to get to one part of town you follow the river and then turn off and away. So the part that is missing, and the part of culture that would be a really nice addition is the aqueous transport. River taxi at your service.

You’d never be stuck in traffic. Freshness of the river breeze in your face every morning on the way to work. It’d probably cut transport times in half.

Once you reach a neighborhood dock, you catch a taxi for 5 minutes and you’re there, or maybe link it with the public transport and trams and stuff. If Cairo was more democratic(?) this would have already been done. And what the hell happened to the vegetation on the stream bank?

After my visit to the lake Nasser I know what happened there: the water level fluctuation and the suns baking rays turn the shore into a ceramic crust. Only the most crazy plants are able to withstand it. Just last week the city came by and hacked the trees down that provide shade and habitat. But I don’t know why? And how they did it was ridiculous. Cutting 98% of the canopy off and leaving about 15 branches each with 3 leaves. The tree is a goner.

There needs to be some sort of natural filtration reintroduced, like a mangrove, minus the insect diseases and crap. The crocodiles should be reintroduced as a cleanup tool. The water might become clean enough to eat the fish and jump off the bridges. Then we might see more of that little guy, the Pied Kingfisher, and some other awesome natural wildlife that the scene is devastating.

Weekend Bender...

So to say that the end of the week was sober would be lying.

I had a fight with a whiskey and a cribbage game. The whiskey won both. I was playing with Dr. Evil. He didnt do 12 years of evil meidcal school to be called Mr.

Then later after the Ultimate game there was Mexican night that I could hardly wait for. Now in retrospect, I can barely hold it to get to the bathroom in time. Those refried are explosive. But I had a strange experience with family lineage and couple a germans and feeling that I didnt know where this story was going. Because I didnt know where the story was going. I had to do with me and my Danish name and the french and that damned cartoon. It all results in a ban of breakfast pastries. And that makes me sad.

Elsewhere I was researching some of the divesites in the South Sinai and came across a great pic of the Yolanda reef, where the Yolanda wrecked during a storm, dropping its load, and then falling off the reef wall to a depth of 600m. Ha, I said "load"...

Touche...

High Times at Bridger Bowl....

When I was Lebanon skiing I met a Kiwi who goes to the Bozone and Jackson every year. Weird I thought... but hes covered duct tape, helmet, just got out of acl surgery, all the classic signs of an addict.

Speaking of, I cant recall ever doing acid, which is funny cos I dont know if I would if I had or did. Mushrooms were a stellar hit in my world though... I recall times with Broodjie van Koodgie hanging out in the Ruskie getting messed and walking down streets with air raid sirens and hookers and a proper old english couple walking in front of us in the Red Light District.

Then theres the time in the Reichs Museum, the kid who was mugged up with a spoon, and getting lost in there. I then found a ginormous etching of a maritime conflict and came to peace with the world. I mean the artwork was at least 12 feet tall. If you get close enough you cant see anything else, which I think is the point, and it works.

I have now in my ultimate wisdom, learned, that a hangover (for me) is a product of the mixture of tobacco and alcohol. Just alcohol and Im in a great state. This is good to know because, because...

Now Im rambling... and theres no pics due to the slag of the web, slug, mug, bug, tug, beer.

"The Acid Problem is not confined to Ducks"

Attempt # 4 I think.... stupid server keeps getting cut off and new post goes drifting of to the distant nowheres.....

Anyway, Ive been trying to say that I have new visitors from all over the place like Germany, Croatia, and Singapore. Thats neat.

Speaking of this, which has nothing to do with what is about to come, I had the craziest dreams last night. Of course I dont remember them, but thats ok becasue Ive been drooling and wasting time looking at kayaks on the net. Ive been feeling that ice cream headache from rolling in frozen rivers. Or smelly and slimey pfds from tropical jungle moistness. The time on the Rio Pacuare when I almost sliced my neck open on rocks, but it turned out to be my shoulder instead. The two guys BOB and I taught to roll and kayak from Arizona, and their disaster at patado de mule...ouch. The bobber's beer drinking/roll trick, that I believe is farse. Seperated shoulders, concusions, dehydration, class 4 holes that suck your booties off, post action beers and actually having to load the truck there and back, twice. I remember the duckie kids who went through that strainer on the stillwater...ew. All of this means its spring time. I smelt (?) it yesterday walking to AUC. The angle of the sun, the breeze, the lightness in my step (cancelled out by the 46lb laptop in my bag) and the smell of fresh dog shit encircling the Gezira club like landmines.

You know jumping off the bridges here would be amazing minus the artery ripping of parasitic attatchment/detatchment in the wet.

Remember what the Wise once said...

When I lived in New Zealand a bunch of things that were mysterious and odd happened on a daily occurance. If youve seen "Once Were Warriors", it documents the Maori and the English that lived together and the Maori culture lost in the new world. Suicide, drinking, drugs, rape... you know the story...

Comparison:
1. I was rescued from passing out on the railroad tracks by a nice blond girl, thus saving my life. A year previous, same spot a kid did the same thing, but wasnt saved...

2. A friend of mine was delivering papers in the early morning, and was witness to a suicide, almost identical to the scene in the movie.

3. The neighbor nurse liked to flash and moon Reto and I on our way to school, she was 40 something and gross. We cried the whole way there.

4. I saw a Maori kid try and beat up a skinny red headed english kid, punch him in th face ten times, and then get whupped with a series of 5 headlocked knees to the face...ouch.

5. We used to joke about sheep and velcro gloves and all that, even stole a sheep from a paddock, served it beer, and replaced it in its debauched state to our laughter. Funny until my friend's neighbor was arrested for molesting his own sheep in the barn...

This is not a sheep, but goats are close enough.

People are awesome.