Death Hike...

So I'm off for the Death Hike across the Sinai Penninsula today. 6 days of wanderings in mountainous desert. daily highs of 110 and lows of 20. That super mixture of extremes that my skin loves. I already ache for a beer.

Apparently they have wild cats out here. The last sighting was something like ten years ago. The next sighting will be Monday, I know it.

We got a floater!

So Mom and I went for a cruise on the River Nile, a section in Upper Egypt called Lake Nasr that is the largest man-made water body on the surface of the earth. I don’t think it’s that big but what do I know….nothing, obviously.

Lake Nasr had some 28 ancient Egyptian temples buries by the new lake and all but one of them was cut up and resurrected to higher ground back in the 60’s and 70’s by UNESCO an saved. WOW! For Abu Simbel, they cut up the entire hill and moved it 80 meters up the mountain and rebuilt it. I saw the movie. I got the t-shirt. The movie was horrible. I lost the shirt.

The place was great, although there was something different about everything. The boat we were on…something funny was about the ship. And I was eating and sleeping like it was going out of style. Then I came back to take a nap and saw stuff like this…

It was great! And the temples and they’re thousands of years old colors and sculptures were mind blowing. Oh, and I had dinner with the British Ambassador as well. I got to invite my mom because I was friends with the ambassador’s kids…that’s my story…and I’m sticking with it.

I have more photos but they’re on the ambassador’s camera so I have to wait for an email….

Anyways...Happy Christmas and Merry New Year! May the force be with you!

Driving me CRAZY....

I found this on craigslist and it is quite possibly the funniest thing today. And I'm going mad trying to figure out what it is that I'm looking at. FSA. It goes like this...

A rocketship? A submarine? A sea horse? Regardless of what the real shape of this cookie-cutter is, it stamps out some pretty damned fine sugar cookies. Other suggestions for the shape include a woman's shoe, a pregnant whale, an airplane, and a shark. But honestly, we aren't convinced by any of these. So submit your own suggestion, and if we think you've figured it out, this superbly crafted copper cookie-cutter is yours! It's possible that a few extra bends have been introduced to the original shape, but close inspection reveals that it looks pretty deliberate.

Hand a batch of these fresh-baked cookies to some precious ankle-biters, and the kiddies will have a great time using their imaginations to decorate the mystery shapes. Just the cure for a world where the television has supplanted old fashioned creativity. Guess the shape and it's yours! Pick-up is available between Davis and Porter Square in Somerville. (Fresh baked mystery cookies not included.)

What the hell is it. I'm guessing its something gross...

It's True....

They have fruits and vegetables here....

And old vintage cars too....

And big hats....

As you might tell, I'm quite bored. And as much as I hate to say it, it's firggin cold out and like usual I have forgotten the essentials to keep myself warm... actually we've run out of vodka. So I have switched to coffee and Dial-up internet. And I just had the last cup of Dial-up...

It may very well be The Time....

I really want to gabber about some political issues and the whatnot of the whowhere... The only issue is if this might be seen as a real turn off or what? And the only way to know is to ask. So thats what I'm doing.

I'm supposed to be classifying right now. But I'm thinking about the state of the union and pretty much the states of all unions around the world. The US is rapidly making decisions to remove itself from the #1 spot and I think its a lot easier to see the problem from the outside. Everyone is very much sedated by the American theme. Like a drug, it is accepted and then people wander off and think about things that they want to think about, like a new TV or car. Well, being a very material country is one thing, being lazy is another, and thinking that you only have two choices of bad or worse is another. None of the above are a good reason for the failure to grasp onto YOUR world.

Now I'm gonna go eat some American Oreos, because they're good.

....Or Things Sought...

Yeah, when you travel in space, these little buggers are everywhere...

They stick to the console and your face if yer slow...

But if you catch one, it'll be great in yer fruit stew and tasty beverage!!

Hitchhiker's Guide to....

After many long days in the craft called "my van" I got a chance to get out and breathe and take in some ot the local "sights" of Park City Montana. As you can see, space travel does strange things to the mind of the hungry space traveler....

The Ultimate in Cheese....

This just made me think about how I need to get that photo of the ultimate Frisbee team from that guy.

Anyway I made this last night, and you can see how my artistic skill has developed, the dramatic portrayal of the two characters and their search for deeper intrinsic meaning on the canvas of life. In this instance it would be the canvas of a cheap ass pixilated program called Paint.

No, no, it’s the one on the left is looking for worms and the one up top is dancing for rain, because we all know that fishing is better right before the rains.

Or, where did all these bugs come from? With the traumatic struggle for existence within the realm a bug infested world. Inspired by the friggin bugs in my face right now.

What do you think is going on here? There’s already enough cheese so make it good!

Enjoy!

NSFW....

This is not safe for work unless you work at the Zoo, are a Vet, Wildlife Biologist or a Porn site manager, the really dirty one.




Um...so I'm gonna put some space here for you to have some time to navigate somewheres else until the coast is clear. No Bosses, or over-the-shoulder lookers.





This image was from Jordan when we went to Petra. There was ass everywhere. Its not much of a third leg as much as a tummy scratcher. For those hard to reach spots. And why not, there is no use for the thing anymore after the higher power in the genetics department decided that it shoots blanks. That sucks.





Oh, and that isn't me either, I would never incriminate myself like that. Really...I swear.





And I'm a liar too.

Well, was it good for you? Because I had a great time!

...A Word from our Sponsors...

In Response to:

"Yes.....yes.......yes i do remember those days quite well thank you. one thing is missing and it was very obvious to me that none of you have the famous fluid in your hands! strange as it is to me that the only thing i can think of is that garrett is making the run to the store. then you all will be smiling and laughing. no smiles, just, yes i am sitting here and wtf happened to garrett? "

Well, there are days with the tasty sports beverage and there are days with the mug. The latter being morally sound, closer than a significant other, and holds beer when in a pinch or if you want to be safe from the omniscient eye of "the man". The latter is also an on-going science experiment as well a testing facility for adhesion, as exampled here by Garrett's cup...

She claims that it's not, but I thought that was Amy Walner Drake on the far right. So who is that?

Remember when...

I used to have long hair, dreadlocks, a big beard, wear shorts all the time, and flip-flops, which I still do. I have the classic ankle high jesus creepers on in this one, similar to a roman guard sandal, and I still get crap for that.

This is 401 College. Bozeman Montana. Awesome.

L to R: Brian, Brett, me, Doug...and thats Doug's 'Scort in the drive with Brian's Cherokee. And this wouldn't be official without the Brahma bars on the bike.

Top of the Morning to Ya!

So last night walking around the secret city at 2:30 in the am, I spied this creature loking in the shadows and scoping the turf. Looks good to me. And then I just missed my chance to photo a weasel…but they’re damn fast and I was half asleep…so, uh, I didn’t get it.

Is this working?

This is what I think Im working on....and, uh, I think its working, yeah. I finished my first image the other day and am now working on the Sinai Penninsula that is four images. Yes...

I'm getting freaked out. It's late in the night and the Stanton Warriors are keeping me real. I've gotta coke in me belly and working on another. Can't drink beer as I'm on antibiotics...that sucks. And I should go to bed but this image is taking forever to upload. Darn...

Ok it's not working and I don't give two rats' asses. Can you imagine a mouse riding a mule? Uh, nevermind...

Night at the Roxbury…

Not really, but probably more expensive. Here’s how it went down:

I get a call that a friend of mine wants me to get the tickets for a party, I forgot and thought the party was the previous weekend, so I got the tickets and am all excited to go party.

This is where the story gets long and longer…

Blah Blah….So the party takes place at this joint called Latex that’s underneath the Nile Hilton. It’s supposed to be fancy and crowded with Cairo’s rich and retarded. You know the type…lots of money but not smart enough to hold a decent conversation. Well this night was a little different, it was a private party. Lots of the same but more friends of friends of friends which made the crowd more interesting.

So I had a beer at home. Met some of the team and had another at the bar. Decided that for a crowded dance party shoes are better for toe longevity than flip-flops, so Guy and I headed over to my pad for a drink and shoes.

Making it over to the party, I was really ready for that drink at the bar at the party, the one that makes the party a reality. Well the drinks weren’t included in this private party. That’s ok with me. Everything here is fairly cheap of not a complete near giveaway. So I order me up a nice whiskey on the rocks, and the bastard gives me a drink that looks like ice with melted ice….

So I ask him to make it a double and he does, and I sip it while he readies the bill. I then read this so called bill and put down my 50 LE for what I read as a 38 LE drink. Normally the whiskies are about 15 to 20 LE for a shot so a double at 38 is ok but maybe a little steep…I thought. Well the barkeep, the bastard, as I’m trying to drink and be happy, asks for more. I reread the bill to say 88 LE. I mean WTF!!? A beer at the store is 5 LE, a beer at the bar is 12 LE, a bottle of Jameson (the good shit) is only 100 LE and the dork charges me 88. I wanted to kill. I suddenly felt how sober I was (to become), as I couldn’t afford another drink at all. The dude just stole all my money for the evening.

Pissed off I was determined make some fun times out on the dance floor, similar to other evenings in the recent past. There was a girl I knew there, so I asked her to tear up the floor with me…and when we got out there I found out just how boring she really was. BORING…. After that, and trying to speak some Spanish, I left, in a high speed pursuit of lost dreams or something in a real nice BMW.

Happy to be in bed. Not happy about that bar, AT ALL!!! Violated I was. Dammit.

the image is from exploding dog

Haircut and a Map....

So I got a haircut 5 minutes ago. Gotta tell that mom is pretty good at cutting hair but not at missing ears. Ha. I also found a dr pepper here, and it tastes sooooooo good. I think it’s real?

So I have found out through weird and interesting ways that to be a member of the national (USA) or international geographers that do cool things, that you need to have studied from a school in Montana. I was asking to purchase satellite images from a guy in DC that works for Earth Sat and his name was familiar…and I went to MSU with him. The Professor that I am assisting write a GIS manual for American University in Cairo Is from University of Montana. I’m from Montana State. That’s cool. Montana is cool. And mapping is cool, and beer is cool.

I had my first beer, since I’ve been sick, last night at this Argentinean steak house tucked away from the crowds. Really, I was one of four people there all night. The steak was good, big and the sauce full of pepper corns entero. And they would crunch in your teeth and explode a spice bomb in your mouth. Swallow! Swallow! You just gotta get that piece of meat down the hatch so that the beer can flow. And it did. And then I went to bed.

Now I’m playing on the dialup internet. Soooo slow. The taxi story needed edits, so I am. I bet I won’t and will just post it again the same way. Yeah, that sounds good. And for all of those who are interested in Costa Rica, I’m thinking about busting about a map of the joint, as if I have time to. So Ill post that some time too. And now its time to nap, because it’s the weekend. And I feel great about that.

There’s a big party tonight. I can’t wait. Just follow the White Rabbit….

Name the flag, it's from ___________?

Eew......?!

Yeah, five minutes ago, my sense of smell was violated by something ghastly and gross.

The epitome of gnar.

Then, in avoidance of the funk I was diverted towards and almost into the puddle of no return. Named so because of the toxic qualities and dead geese near its surface. Not on the surface, just near.

Except for the geese, its pretty true.

Last Summer...

As I was saying, last summer I drove a lot. I made the annual tri-state trip between Santa Fe, Bozeman and Lincoln. Whoa, is that a long trip from Western MT to Eastern NE. But I have a sweet 1980's vintage toyota van. If you see it down by the river, be scared, very scared.

I-80 sucks. Too many cops, too many miles, not enough gas, and not enough sheep. Or sleep, as I always have a hangover. Last time Joe and I saw probably about a thousand sheep on the side of the road, and then the jokes started flowing.

Just when I need meds that have psuedoephedrine, for my head cold, which sucks, maybe from a brand that usually has the magic ingredient, like Sudafed, I see the yellow box on the cover. Now I know why this shit isn't working....

Look at the Birdy... and the Turkish Coast

I’ve come down with the sniffles once again. Thanks to the air quality provided by the burning of the rice fields. Anyway, I mentioned a rainy Turkish getaway. And I also mentioned a taxi story. That shall come tomorrow. Just wait. It rained in turkey. And the birds at breaky wanted some of that fake food that foreigners apparently love. But not this foreigner. And I don’t like the band “Foreigner“ either. The only thing edible is the bread and butter and you have to pay extra for the fresh OJ, or you can drink over sweetened Tang. WDF? But it was a great trip. Just need to go prepared for drinking in Taksim Square where the wine flows like beer and the women flock like the salmon of Capistrano.

For tomorrow’s essay, I have accepted a personal account of misconduct whilst in a cab. As well make note that if you wear headphones and wander in the big city to pay attention to your surroundings. One might miss the neural attack from a taxi’s honk thingy, because it’s not a horn, but way worse, and nearly get run over in multiplicity. Remember the end of naked gun when OJ falls from his wheelchair in the stadium and gets run over by a cement truck and a marching band and steam roller. That’s bad; don’t let it happen to you.

This birdy seems unassuming. When he opens his mouth I bet I could fit my foot in there. He reminds me of the birds in Finding Nemo.

The question of the day…. I should see a good recent movie, what should it be? I thought the new Harry Potter was just ok. The dragon on the roof scene made it. Action of course. No Beaches or girly flicks. Let the comment be yours. And don’t be anonymous; we need good handles out there!