Sleeping: Bag vs. Bed... (EDIT)

So there I was sleeping at the raft shop...on the bottom of an Aire, completely comfortable. Tired after rafting and the BBQ I brought a book and was thinking about reading it but instead I thought about the two variances that I have slept on through life, recent life that is.

After College the only place considered a bed happened to belong to a significant other. Most of the time though I have spent in the tunnel and shelter of my plethora of sleeping bags. Allow me to reiterate:

There were always the Coleman Bags that were cold and wet and HUGE. Those dont count. Not even a little bit. Those were the same bags the averted my folks from camping proper, and actually enjoying it.

Then I got that blue bag named after an elk or something from the Mooses Tooth. That thing rocked. It was synthetic and actually kept its warmth when wet, as I tested it in the winter trips. It perished that fateful day we burnt the boy scout cabin down. Precisely, it melted.

Then I got a Marmot Synthetic bag to replace it with. It rocked. I slept in it so much it lost every quality that made it look like a sleeping bag. And something was missing, so I sent it back and sent me a new one, free, and I still love its bluish grey bombness. The snugglemeister. The cool bit is that I got a long one so that you can stuff your clothes in the foot and keep em warm.

Somewhere in there I got the down Mountain Hardwear bag. The ultimate in abslute warmth and soft lightness, yet not tollerant of moisture. This is the one I have now. I think in the last 6 years I may have out grown it, OR it needs a major laundering. The cool part about this one is the built in pocket with a mosquito head net. That thing saved my bloood on the picnic table up in the Tobacco Roots at the No Tell Hotel. I remember the mosquitos being worse than the B52s up in Canada during the canoe trips. Thats the night I learned how Moths were trying to save my life and consumed millions of the blood thirsty suckers.

Then Garrett passed me on the Double Coleman. This one counts. I mistakenly left it in NM, but being a river rat with a van down by the river I feel that the necessity to be roomy was optimal. Infact, I have never slept warmly with so much room ever! But the thing was Gigantic, so I gave it its own compartmant in the Toaster Vans quarters. Im pretty sure Amanda likes it. She probably likes it more than me. As well its great for hiding things out of sight. Its large enough to cover 4 kayaks, 30 cases of beer, two dogs, the entire inside of the van, one motorcycle, fishing equipment, and the sun from hitting my face. If I could find one in sweet down and cheap, yeah, thatd be good. Real good.

As for beds, the one in the basement apartment in Bozeman was scary, moreso the actual apartment. The one in Santa Fe is great but lonely. The one in Spokanistan needs rails to keep me from rolling off it in mid slumber. And the futon in Red Lodge has kept me alive for a couple years. I dont think I could have made it without Cooper spooning me awake, but the ass to the face part I'll try and pass on from here on out...

EDIT: There are some major beds that I forgot to mention in some far out places around the world. Let me begin in Nebraska... The waterbed that I blew a hole in with schrapnel from that Belgian AntiAircraft round, I should be blind and seasick... The guest room bed was a trampoline that was always inviting injury. The Bunkbed that I jumped off to smash the light with my head and rolled off of on a weekly basis, always interesting.

Then theres the Rafiki mattress and mosquito net contraption. Painful and hot and sweaty. I remember waking up and pulling a pair of shorts on with a mother scorpion in em = a ballsy experience. Costa Rica was never dull, like sleeping through giant earthquakes, and floating through dreams during torrential downpours. Always tired.

The bed in Cairo was a nice home away from home. Although it seemed that I could never find the right climate controlling blanket. It was also magnetic, so much that I found it hard to get out of in the mornings until a funk drifted awry and warned me it was time to get up and go and get covered in diesel exhaust. I saw a lot of four posters here... and dust from the sandstorms!!

Verdict: The Double Bag on a Raft
(EDIT: Make sure to release the air on the thwarts or
something similar to a broken back will ensue, with lots of drool)

I like the Random Pic....

....Like I said:

Dawn of a New Age....

The time has come when the toaster van has been unofficially retired. The time has also come for spring and whitewater and me to hide from real work opprotunities. Although I found one in Eldo down in Santa Fe, so thats nice I hope.

Meanwhile Ive been travelling and getting lost in fits of joy and rage at the prices of gas (not really, I care not even a little bit, strangely enough) and picked up Brians "old" Toyota as he upgraded to the "new" Tacoma in exchange for the sweet yz426 I picked up a month ago. Im super excited for the new ride, with manual trans, new BFGs and 4x4 qualities exceeding that of the toaster's.

Brian and I were talking about a couple things in LA: the "Jason Movie" which should be on YouTube soon!!, and me authoring a book of some sort. So pretty much all I need now is a supporter bc my writing style is only really any good when Im not employed. Ha.
....And yes, that is a Canada Goose in the tree...?

....and the Fish

My 4 lb'er and Carlo's 8 lb'er!!!

Bigg'uns....

Again I wander around and find myself in the midst of great things.

I just left Spokanada smiling and riddled with flat tires and headed back to RL. Got a call for help and headed over to the fishing mecca of Ft. Smith (eff tee smith) on the Reservation, so no beer is sold, byo only. Here at the beautiful Big Horn River Lodge life slows down, though mine was busy. Busy fixing and fishing. Putting in new well pipe, starting a dozen small engines for the first time of the season, moving, cleaning, decorating the lodge with dead animal heads and stuffed fish, replacing small tubing for water pumps everywhere. There are dogs and mayflies and sunrises and fishermen or fisherpeoples. Theres egos and my ego after catching a huge 4 lb'er bass in the ponds (pics tomorrow!).

I remember the days when I lived in Costa Rica at Rafiki. Ah, the awesome craziness. Well turns out that my friends that ran the lodge there are running the lodge here. Carlo and Janel rock it. Tight!

Did I mention the huge Bass yet?

So I better toss in a random pic of something...

Musical Minds...

So I was sitting here looking out the window, drinking coffee, admiring the sunshine. Thinking I was. I have this overwhelming desire to make music. This desire has come and gone ever since I was little. And then I decided to quit playing the trombone for the band in highschool = mistake. But I simply couldnt handle Marching Band any more, and being that it was a requisite for the rest of the fun stuff, I quit.

Marching Band is and always will be dumb.

And its hard to boot.

So sit here and think of making music. I listen to Limbik Frequencies and drift.

Speaking of drifting, I was searching the job market and keep ending up in the 1000 mile stare, visualising myself atop an oar rig in class IV. Shoulders hurt, sweat dripping from my face and mixing in the spray from the bow, chaco tan intact, sunglass tan: check! Feels so good I can barely stand it. Im gonna take a shower and pretend.....

L33t Sp33k Cats....

This is just a random collection of pics that I mostly picked up today, as I was crying laughing, where I shoulda been quiet.

If you were wondering, Im not that big into cats, but this IS funny.

Branding the Fun Way....

....And that would be with 2 kegs of beer! Drag em out and wrastle em down, stick em three times, burn em, and then kick em in the ass on the way out. Of course the calves wanted to go back in the pen, and we were drinking, so uh, they kinda got roped more than once.

These little turds were tough too. But I really had the funnest time... And then theres Felix, amidst the heat from the irons, the Busch Light, the lips packed with chew, and some spectators that showed up already loaded, ie. Kenny, the old guy with the dog and the whiskey.
And then I got caught on camera having a good time with some fella raft guides and birthday partiers, none of which I knew, especially the birthday girl, whom it looks like is being scandalous with my pocket. You cant tell, but its frickin cold in there them hills of Spokanadia...
And then I went home and bought two things...

A $50 Pathfinder....
And an 01 yz426f... and then you say "but you already have one?" and I reply, "its for Brian", and the response goes like, "oh", and then I show you this....
...and this last one, but you need to click on it for it to work: muahahaha!!!

Getting Wilfed, and Spokanistan....

So here I sit in the Red Lodge. Its supposed to be spring like it was last week but the mercury says 20 and the windshield is a constant pain in the ass. Guess I better wait for a few before I head north this morning, ice be horribles. So instead Im rebuilding my motorcycle. Why, one might ask? Well it turns out that 2 weekends ago I went dirtbiking and Got Wilfed.


This is pretty much joining Wilf on a full day barely mentally manageable trail ride minus the trail with lots of sweat while trying to clean up your mess of a self and preparing to wreck again ride. I think I had 12 major wrecks. Bent and rebent the front brake lever. Destroyed the rear brake rotor. Had three big off the back wheelie dismounts on hill climbs. A couple slow mo moon dust descent layovers, one of which had two big players: my ass and a cactus. What a disaster. I loved it. I probably burnt out the clutch that day too. We had to drag the bikes under a barbwire fence. Needless to say I slept real real good that night, after I drove to Bozeman at about 11pm. Destroyed.

The very next day I drove to Spokanistan or Spokompton or Spocanada, depending where youre from. I was visiting Amanda and hanging out with other local yahoos when I realized my addiction. I dont know how it got to this point, it happened so fast. Yes, Im addicted to Greys Anatomy. I sat there one morning onthe couch as the season 1 disc 1 was accepted by the DVD player. It must have been 3 or 4 in the afternoon when I figured I better be productive. So I took a nap. Same thing next day but I escaped and found the holy-I-pooped-my-pants-those-rapids-are-so-big class V whitewater running through town. OMG. I stared. Amanda was drooling. We both came to terms by accepting that almost no one else would understand. Whitewater had corrupted us both.


Moving on to the next bridge of approx 60ft we became moistened by the not so gentle but violent exploding water hitting water super spray that rocked the 90's. Wow. 23,000 Cubic feet per second really is a lot of water!!

Little did I/we know that the real falls were actually downstream some more. Uh, there is no line for a survivor through here. I figure the only way to WIN would be if you got flicked 300 ft from the first wave all the way over the gnar. Thats the only way. Drool. The bridge in the background is btw huge-asaurus for scale. I would like to see a basketball survive the journey. I dont think it would.

My Cat Hates You....

So in times of ugh, I sometimes always find that I have way more shit stored up somewhere than what is truely necassary. Like the links link in Firefox, I stash interesting finds like this one.

And why am I not in grad school when they study the intestinal pressure required to do THIS?

The Montana Motorbike Mega Marathon....

So the infamous Brian Johnson came back to montana for the week to peruse and party and repercieve. So I packed up the bikes of new and old: my new Yz450 and my old Xr500 on my old trailer. Needless to say I sold all of the "old goods" to Garrett, the new and proud caretaker of the honda legacy. Strangely or not, While in pipestone I must have seen 15 early '80s Xr500's. I was shocked and I smiled. Of course, theyre invincible.

So here I am back in the Montucky Madness. Loving it. Hating it. Theres two ways to do Mt: No worries raft guiding couch surfing bar hopping where am I dont care Im happy style, or the I work way to hard to not go fishing so Im going fishing but I should be working bc this place is so fucking expensive I can barely afford the $900 basement closet that drips water from the apartment upstairs. Ok, maybe thats a little extreme. Doesnt matter though, bc I cant afford to live there and every job I find IN montana takes me OUT of montana, so, uh, I dont get it anymore....
Ah, the Tobacco Roots!! or some other range near them...?? Pipestone must be the most awesome riding territory ever, and for early March, well its summer already and theres no snow and the rivers are getting color already. I was thinking in my dreams that maybe this is the season I get the mini escapes to run the Lochsa soon and the Grand Canyon in November. Hmmm. Life continually eludes me. I love it and lose its bearings. Go for the search and find something completely different and awesome. Im not one for caring too much anymore so Im gonna have to just go with the flow of awesome and live it, love it. I suspect this will find myself old, poor and happy and hungry. But what is anything without hunger? Metaphorically speaking.
So the drunkeness with Brian and Natalia were awesome and dehydrating. I then moved back south and east to my other home spooning with Cooper, drinking coffee with Garrett and trying give beer to Sony and Lauren. It will work someday. Day One in the desert: crazy technical trails and a broken clutch cable cuts the days short. Day Two: I get seriously Wilfed, 12 wrecks in all on a mysterious goat trail to nowhere. 3 off the back wheelie dismounts, one of which fills the pipe with dirt making a scene when I kick it for a restart. A double bubble bent brake lever that I can barely reach. I super slowmo fall on a cactus with my ass, thigh and hand. Im still picking that shit out, dammit!! Lets just say its the rider and not bike, though I think diefferent gearing might help. So if you know of a xr400 for sale consider it sold and Ill come get it. So now the research for a GIS field job continues.
And of now now I find myself in Spokompton, watching the foam pour off the class V+ town section of the Spokane River. I drool. And other things too....

Mud....

So the YZ is fantastic. It throws some great 40ft rooster tails and doesnt like bentonite. But who does. Im finding out more and more how much more often I need to change the oil, so Im ordering 10 filters and a couple gallons of synthetic oil. Fun. Im glad I had a job over the winter, which didnt seem much like winter to me.
But to my moms suggestion, Im building a photo segment Im calling "Rust" for now. Hopefully I can get it in a coffee shop somewhere just to say I did. I bet the Motohaus in Loveland Co might be interested. Or something in the ITC in Bozeman. Who knows? Who Cares?
It would be stuff like this rusty chain. And I revisited the old post with trucks and theyre all from Nebraska? WTF?

Response....

So it seems I got a good response from the the last one. So I went out and found some more. One of them is especially surprising....

S I dont know how you get a car upsidedown but half of the car in Ok are. Just a factoid. And more often than not Im finding a generous amount of vehicles with trees attached.
I love this pic. No other explanation is needed.
So this truck has something that I didnt notice at first. Other than the coolness factor it has 2 things relevant that you can see if you click on it and look at the full size. It happens to be my job for this summer and my place of birth. Finger it out.

Completely Cool Junk, and a Pump Jack....

So my job is to wander around and find fences and gates for the surveyors and drills to get to where they need to be. On this wandering route I find some of the most interesting shit, or as today would happen, a forest fire. Luckily but almost too late, Im becoming a wildland fire fighter. And while Im on that tangent, my boots are gonna cost $350. But I hear they are comfy. Better be. Not to forget the ever too present dead rotting cows and calves that I almost ride into on a daily basis. I wanna puke and not be livestock in Ok. They die. Horribly.

And then theres this Two Named Car. See if you can pick it out. Remember if you click the image the full size one opens in a new tab.



And heres your pump jack sucking away at the sauce. I hear if youre a real doodlebugger you get up and ride the beast. Time will tell.....

News from the Front....

So I saw my first near sandstorm in OK the other day. Turns out the Jetstream was extremely low and the sand from NM blew over Texas to Ok and then to Ga. Just like Egypt. Weird.
But I was out in the field like everyday when I have an extreme movement and have to deal. Luckily most of the area is woods so I am free to be wherever. And if you are still wondering, this is what I do... Hazard Mapping for Seismic Exploration. I ride a Quad with GPS and talk to cool and firendly people (so far) and play with thier dogs. One guy offered me his puppies (damn, wiemariener? and lab mix!!!).

And so I begin again tomorrow....

Its Hot in Oklahoma....

So the dust has begun and the twisters are on their way, as of 6:00 this evening. But meanwhile I saw this and had to pass it on bc I pretty much lost my shit when I saw it.

Enjoy

OK

I cant say much more than Okla. is not OK. The shittiest motel Ive ever seen, three days of driving, broken gas card, the strange anomaly of free beer in the lobby? and so much much more.... But the entire state is designed for dirtbiking. So if anyone wants one I can test ride it here and bing it back, so thats good. That and I feel like a giant ass here, being fairly more intelligent and lazy than anyone here.

On the super up note, Dustin introduced me to my favorite band that Ive never heard before: The Frames. Complete Amazement. In fact I kinda listened to it nonstop the whole way down. Did I mention the shittiest motel on earth has free beer....? And Im not in the office, how sweet is that!!
If you want some Frames I can post it on Rapidshare or something.... all good.

I love you all, I just feel inspired to say that all my friends and family are the reason I can exist in this weird world.

Smith Mine in the Rime....

So I had the chance to run out to the mine and take some photos without a tripod in the worst light available. It was really cool and freaky. Everywhere I went there was a set of foot prints just ahead of mine. And the leftovers were amazing.


So Smith Mine #4 was apparently the worst disaster in MT. And full of rime with a crazy grey background.

There had been a lot of looting already and I was actually keeping an eye out fer a wood stove or something. It 'was' there but was gone now. I imagine the rust and wood would look fantastic in a morning light.

I kept thinking that I was gonna find an arm or a leg sticking out of a pile of rubble. A fresh one too. But there were no appendages by the boilers. If I had something that I had forgotten it would be a. a friend, b. a handgun....

The parts room was fantastic. I hope Im around for the summer to do some proper exploration. ...

Texas Chilli Taster....

This is a long lost joke that Karla found backlogged on her compy. I had been asking about it for months to friends and family. I finally have it. I can now continue sleeping.

------__------

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank who was visiting
from Springfield IL .

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili
cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I just
happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to
the Coors Light truck when the call came in. I was assured by the other two
judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy. Besides,
they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and
became Judge #3."


Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames
out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm
supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to
give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw
the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.

Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like
I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more
beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in
the front part of my chest. I'm getting crap-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to
taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was
standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to
look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an
aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit
the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can
no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili
had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring
beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off.
It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Screw them.

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices
and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic.
Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will
eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that
Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili
peppers at the last moment. **I should note that I am worried about Judge
#3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like
it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid
unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At
least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop
breathing - it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway.
If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold
but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor
hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out,
fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's
going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot
chili?

Judge # 3 - No Report

Montucky....

Its great to be back. Wee little Lauren is indeed the drool monster. Drool. Drool.